Friday, August 20, 2010
Post from 8/13/10
NASCAR has a weekly magazine? Most NASCAR fans don't know how to read, and those who do know how usually save that ability for important things, like the restraining orders from their favorite drivers. Anyway, publishing a weekly magazine for NASCAR fans makes as much sense as taking a group of anorexics to Golden Corral.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Post from 8/10/10
Nothing screams "attention whore" more than a book (that's not a biography) with your picture on the spine.
Post from 8/9/10
Yes, that is a pregnancy test stashed in the base of an artificial tree. Yes, it was positive. But it's ok, that tree is married to the tree by the reference desk.
Posts from 7/21/10 to 8/6/10
7/21/10: Use the staple bridge to cross the rubber band moat and reach the correction fluid castle. But watch out for the sharp spires of the golf pencil wall!
7/23/10: When you're homeless, you really don't have much going for you, in terms of tangible assets and intangible assets. So when a guy disrespects your homeless girlfriend's honor by calling her a bitch, the natural thing to do is punch him in the face.
7/26/10: Awesome donation of the day: It says "boners."
8/3/10: This has been on my desk for about 6 months now, and I have no idea why. Any suggestions on what I should do with it?
8/4/10: The internet is down so our whole system is affected and we can't get any work done. IT is working on the issue, but in the meantime, I bring you Venom vs. green army men. Who do you think will be victorious?
8/5/10: This guy teaches history at Oxy, of course I'm ordering this book!
8/6/10: Bullet in the bookdrop. If you don't like the selection of library materials, just tell us. No need to send us passive-aggressive death threats.
7/23/10: When you're homeless, you really don't have much going for you, in terms of tangible assets and intangible assets. So when a guy disrespects your homeless girlfriend's honor by calling her a bitch, the natural thing to do is punch him in the face.
7/26/10: Awesome donation of the day: It says "boners."
8/3/10: This has been on my desk for about 6 months now, and I have no idea why. Any suggestions on what I should do with it?
8/4/10: The internet is down so our whole system is affected and we can't get any work done. IT is working on the issue, but in the meantime, I bring you Venom vs. green army men. Who do you think will be victorious?
8/5/10: This guy teaches history at Oxy, of course I'm ordering this book!
8/6/10: Bullet in the bookdrop. If you don't like the selection of library materials, just tell us. No need to send us passive-aggressive death threats.
Posts from 6/30/10 to 7/15/10
6/30/10: You're wearing a Team Jacob shirt? Really? Hate to spoil your fun, but you know Bella ends up fucking Edward, right? I don't know why these girls are so faithful to a losing cause. Probably learned from poor examples at home. Their dads must be Cubs fans.
7/1/10: Yup, we have purple duct tape holding down our plastic chair mats.
7/6/10: "Your Wi-Fi is down? And you don't know when it's going to be working? Are you doing anything to fix it?!?!" No, we've pretty much given up on it. We think this Internet fad is almost over anyway, and we're tired of dealing with it.
7/6/10: I think this would be a fun new rule: Allowing people to sleep in the library. But they no longer get to find a quiet corner and a comfy chair to doze off in. Instead, they are to sit on a wooden stool right next to the teens' computers.
7/9/10: When someone checks out a Playaway (a pre-loaded digital audio player, you can Google it), we give them a pair of headphones and a battery. I've been here for 2 years and I still don't understand this practice. We don't give people bifocals and lightbulbs when they check out books.
7/10/10: Donation of the day: Finally, a book that J can appreciate.
7/10/10: "Hi, am I at the right place? My father asked me to pick up a book for him." Nope, no books here. We only sell racoon hats and eyepatches. The Jiffy Lube has all the books.
7/12/10: Awesome donation of the day: Cassette tapes from a person who had diverse musical interests.
7/14/10: Abandoned pitcher of OJ. Or Sunny D. Might be Tampico. I'm not thirsty enough to find out.
7/15/10: Book I won't be ordering: Algebra is already intimidating, why have a picture of a ferocious-looking mountain lion on the cover?
7/1/10: Yup, we have purple duct tape holding down our plastic chair mats.
7/6/10: "Your Wi-Fi is down? And you don't know when it's going to be working? Are you doing anything to fix it?!?!" No, we've pretty much given up on it. We think this Internet fad is almost over anyway, and we're tired of dealing with it.
7/6/10: I think this would be a fun new rule: Allowing people to sleep in the library. But they no longer get to find a quiet corner and a comfy chair to doze off in. Instead, they are to sit on a wooden stool right next to the teens' computers.
7/9/10: When someone checks out a Playaway (a pre-loaded digital audio player, you can Google it), we give them a pair of headphones and a battery. I've been here for 2 years and I still don't understand this practice. We don't give people bifocals and lightbulbs when they check out books.
7/10/10: Donation of the day: Finally, a book that J can appreciate.
7/10/10: "Hi, am I at the right place? My father asked me to pick up a book for him." Nope, no books here. We only sell racoon hats and eyepatches. The Jiffy Lube has all the books.
7/12/10: Awesome donation of the day: Cassette tapes from a person who had diverse musical interests.
7/14/10: Abandoned pitcher of OJ. Or Sunny D. Might be Tampico. I'm not thirsty enough to find out.
7/15/10: Book I won't be ordering: Algebra is already intimidating, why have a picture of a ferocious-looking mountain lion on the cover?
Posts from 5/27/10 to 6/29/10
5/27/10: Phone call (on a Thursday): "Hi, you guys are open today for Memorial Day weekend?" Slight pause as I determine the best way to answer this. "Well Memorial Day isn't til Monday, and we're closed that day. But yes, we are open today."
5/28: Someone donated about 30 books and one-piece women's bathing suit. The library has no need for the swimsuit, so it's free to a good home!
6/2/10: "Will someone help me at the self-checkout machine? My electromagnetic energy disrupts the machine." I'll help you, but only because I appreciate the extraordinary excuse you concocted for being lazy.
6/7/10: "Do I get a library card here?" No, go to the post office.
6/10/10: My monitor now resembles a certain monster who has a persistent hankering for cookies.
6/11/10: I was strolling through Kidstown and I paused to listen to a woman read The Giving Tree to a group of boys. She would pause in between pages to ask the boys questions. She asked, "What can you do with a tree?" One boy answered, "Go potty!"
6/15/10: I know that I spend a lot of time here and it kinda feels like a second home to me, but my house key won't open the door. Ugh, it's gonna be a long day.
6/15/10: "I'm really a pain, ain't I?" Actually, I don't mind helping you. It's your atrocious grammar that is painful.
6/16/10: Today at library school - From a book for my Introduction to IT class - "URLs use many slashes ( / ); that's the correct term. Backslashes ( \ ) are also used in computing; that's also the correct term. The term 'forward slash' is not correct, except perhaps with light sabers." I don't even like Star Wars and I think that's funny.
6/29/10: "I don't have a library card with this library, but I have one from my library in Michigan, does that help?" No. Do you go to Safeway and try to use your Smith's card?
5/28: Someone donated about 30 books and one-piece women's bathing suit. The library has no need for the swimsuit, so it's free to a good home!
6/2/10: "Will someone help me at the self-checkout machine? My electromagnetic energy disrupts the machine." I'll help you, but only because I appreciate the extraordinary excuse you concocted for being lazy.
6/7/10: "Do I get a library card here?" No, go to the post office.
6/10/10: My monitor now resembles a certain monster who has a persistent hankering for cookies.
6/11/10: I was strolling through Kidstown and I paused to listen to a woman read The Giving Tree to a group of boys. She would pause in between pages to ask the boys questions. She asked, "What can you do with a tree?" One boy answered, "Go potty!"
6/15/10: I know that I spend a lot of time here and it kinda feels like a second home to me, but my house key won't open the door. Ugh, it's gonna be a long day.
6/15/10: "I'm really a pain, ain't I?" Actually, I don't mind helping you. It's your atrocious grammar that is painful.
6/16/10: Today at library school - From a book for my Introduction to IT class - "URLs use many slashes ( / ); that's the correct term. Backslashes ( \ ) are also used in computing; that's also the correct term. The term 'forward slash' is not correct, except perhaps with light sabers." I don't even like Star Wars and I think that's funny.
6/29/10: "I don't have a library card with this library, but I have one from my library in Michigan, does that help?" No. Do you go to Safeway and try to use your Smith's card?
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